As promised…

Here’s my new house!

First of all, there is no carpet in the entire house. Hooray! The previous owners had a puppy that peed all over the place, so they replaced all the flooring. Those boxes by the front door are “Puppy Potty Training Pads.” They don’t seem to work.

All the beige you see in the photos are actually gold wallpaper that are beige sponge painted on top. Why wallpaper your whole house in beige? I ask you!

This is the trompe l’oeil mural that takes up the whole staircase. The owner’s realtor said that the previous owners paid $10K to have this atrocity put up. The sad thing is that I can see the true artistic talent here. It’s a stunning mural, but who wants parrots and monkeys staring at them every time they climb the stairs? I’m probably going to be whimpering as I paint over this.

Here’s the room right off the front door that will become my studio. On the far wall there are floor to ceiling mirrors, which of course will have to come down. I love mirror applied judiciously, but I don’t plan on turning this into a dance studio, so I think it’s best to go in a different direction.

Here’s even more wallpaper. This is what’s on the other side of the mural covered door.

This is my new dining room. The whole ground floor is wide open, which I adore. There’s also two entrances to the back yard, one off the kitchen, and one here off the dining. I think I’m going to do my vegetable gardening here in the side yard, once we get rid of a giant sauna that the owners are leaving behind.

My little, but at least open, kitchen. Even more wallpaper in the border. We’re going to replace the countertops as soon as possible with some kind of solid surface, probably engineered quartz. Then I’m thinking of painting the cabinets black.

My master bedroom. Why would you paint the ceiling of a master bedroom like a sky? Super cute for kids rooms, for a master? Kind of weird. This is actually the least of the weird paint. Check these out:

We basically have to paint every single surface in this house. But hey, paint is a whole lot cheaper than flooring, so I’ll paint every single surface in this house with a smile on my face.