The big conference

I suppose after all that talk before hand I should probably talk a little bit about how it went, right?

Not to get too grandiose, but I really do think that last week was one of the most productive and inspiring weeks of my life.

My panels went really really great. Other than wishing there were more people in attendance, I couldn’t have asked for anything more. But what made it so great is how receptive people were to what I had to offer. All week I was surrounded by brilliance. PhD’s, internet celebrities, and incredible talent, and – maybe this sounds ridiculous – but it really thrilled me, Stay At Home Mom and Craft Designer, to be so included and respected. And heard.

When the circles you run in are essential your child, the people who teach your child, and the people inside the computer, I think it’s human nature to think of yourself as nothing special, with nothing very special to offer. This conference made me see that, first of all, we all see ourselves that way, and then also, the rest of the world is not as far away as I think it is.

Growing up, my parents were realists to the point of pessimism. They never really told me how they got that way, but I think somewhere along the way they had to have had some dreams crushed because every time one of their kids started getting carried away in their dreams they would remind us how hard the world was, how many people want to do [fill in the blank], and the only way to be happy and safe was to do something that would always be needed. A nurse, a dental assistant, and if I *had* to go to college then be a teacher. It must have been an endless source of frustration for them to have a passel of creative kids.

I started working as a Craft Designer by accident. I was too sick to work a regular full-time job and I was making stuff without even realizing it. Creating is a bodily function to me, just like circulation or breathing. It is so essential to me that for most of my life I didn’t even realize it was so essential. It was just there. You don’t notice you’re breathing until you stop. I think if I had been aware of it at all I probably would have heard my mom’s voice in my head and not pursued it.

That’s how writing has been for me. One of my secret most heartfelt desires was to write, but I was terrified I’d suck, which of course everyone does at the beginning, and I was convinced that since it was so competitive to get a book published, than it wasn’t worth all that effort anyway. This week there were publishers and editors there that were so supportive and interested in what I had to say, it just made me realize that that world is not as removed as I had always been told. I’m sure it is competitive, but not insurmountable, and I just have to get to work so that I can push past the part where I suck. I learned that I do have something to say and that there are people in the world who want to hear it.

So now I have one more thing to do in a day.

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