Monster Parmigiana

In honor of Halloween, I thought it would be fun to make a dinner that was festive, and yet still tasty. When we were little, our Halloween dinner was usually a slapped together sandwich as we all raced out the door to get to the trick or treating, but I love the idea of having a big hearty spooky banquet before letting Atti fill his belly with sugar.

But, since Halloween evenings are also totally nutsballs, it needed to be simple too. This is the easiest possible way to make chicken parmigiana. By the time you cook the noodles, dinner is ready.

Monster Parmigiana
Linguini noodles
Marinara sauce (I like my bottled version, but Newman’s is good in a pinch too)
Chicken breasts
flour
eggs
panko bread crumbs
olive oil
salt and pepper
cream cheese
olives

Put the noodles on to boil, heat up your sauce, and get a skillet heating up to fry your chicken. Drizzle a layer of olive oil and let it get hot.

Meanwhile, set up your breading station. I get three shallow plates and fill one with flour, one with a couple of eggs (whisked up), and one with the breadcrumbs. This is a good opportunity to add flavor, so if you’re feeling fancy then season the flour with herbs and spices.

Now here’s what makes it Monster Parmigiana:

If you’ll notice, a chicken breast is shaped pretty much like your hand. So all you have to do is make four little slices with your knife to separate the fingers.

Season the chicken with salt and pepper, then bread your monster hand by dunking it in the flour, then in the eggs, then in the breadcrumbs, and then toss it in the hot olive oil. Let it get nice and brown and delicious, then give it a flip. Try to keep the fingers spread apart, that breading will make them easy to stick together.

When the chicken is done, drape it over a bed of noodles and sauce. Cut an olive in half and, using the cream cheese as a little glue, stick the olive fingernails in place on the monster fingers.

Once Atti gets to the age where this would be funny, I think I might just tell him that this was the monster that lived under his bed. But it shouldn’t give him any trouble any more. Bwah ha ha ha.