Persephone

Whenever my story is told
My pain belongs to my mother
Neither my freedom nor my captivity my own
Trapped in a bargain I never chose
My life a casualty in a longer war

In all the sorrow and the pain
I’ve had to be stoic
I could not add to the burden of my mother
With the truth of my suffering
And I could not allow my tormentor
To see I am tormented

So I fixed my eyes forward
I did not think about the smell of blooms
Or the juice from a tree-ripened plum
I long ago learned that
Living in tomorrow to get through today
Is a loan that can never be paid back

I survive the isolation by refusing to be isolated
I talk with my selves.
The avenger, the artist, the spy, the mourner, the victim
The wise woman with wild hair
What are you going to do?
What can you make yours?

He avoids me now.
My every gaze demands accountability.
He is afraid of what I know.
I know mysteries that even he can’t comprehend.
I do not fear death.
I know there are many ways to die.
And that I will survive them.

I know that when there is nothing left but stillness
new senses develop
To see in the dark
Hear in the silence
Discover the depths that are waiting to be uncovered

And in that stillness you see the illusion
Nothing is still
Even in this place
They are only unobserved

Roots continue to inch ever down
Water collects on the stone walls
Worms turn and nutrients absorb
All the hidden, unseen work
the blossoms depend on

I send my own roots down to the source of me
I collect the water of every kindness,
every drop of love
I nourish myself like a gardener,
offering gentle showers of praise

I love you
You’ve been through so much
You have done so well

When I am returned to the light
They will embrace me and keen
Rocking with the injustice and sorrow.
Asking me how how how
Demanding i solve my riddles and their own.

For this evil bargain
I command the power of creation
The joy and the grief. So much grief.
The birth and the death and then the regeneration
Even in this prison I have power that makes my captor quake
I have transcendence

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